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The fullness of my hands

IMG_3906 Dramatization- do not attempt at home

There's something about going from 2 children to 3 that prompts total strangers to comment on the fullness of my hands (ex: it  looks like you have your hands full!)  Surely I am not the only person in the world who has 3 children under the age of 4.5 but really… that's not a lot of children. I don't know if they are just stating the facts or feel really sorry for me. Like the time I was walking into the shops last week with a sleeping Charlie in his carseat on one arm and pushing a drowsy Kate in the stroller with the other hand and convincing Henry he was strong enough to open the door for us.  Because we really needed to go to Pier 1 and it couldn't wait and it was worth it to me to bring them all along. It was all in the name of design after all. And then a stranger appeared "You look like you have your hands full (which I quite literally did) let me get that for you." Which I really appreciated and smiled and said "Thanks!" and kept smiling so she would know that I really didn't mind all this. I find myself being really conscious and aware in public and feel like I have to go the extra mile to show how much I love having 3 children- that I chose this, that I choose to be out & about (because who wants to stay home all day..boo on that) and that we are having a great time even when it would appear to the layman that we are in total chaos. I don't want to give having three children a bad wrap, because we are not done you know. So chew on that. And I forgot to mention that we love every.single.second.of.it.

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49 responses to “The fullness of my hands”

  1. Mom Avatar
    Mom

    You are a complete genius at mothering ….
    (I write this with Morgan sitting 3 inches from me and cueing me as I type.)
    XOXO

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  2. Abi Avatar
    Abi

    that is SO true! people say that to me all the time! why is that?! they always say it in passing too! they never offer any help 😉

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  3. DeeDee Avatar
    DeeDee

    Your doing a great job!
    I am a mother of three grown daughters and now I take care of others little ones. Two are infants, 1.5 months and 2 months, and a two year old, all boys. That is until my oldest has her daughter. 🙂
    People dont realize the planning and organization that goes into having little ones and taking them out. If they did they wouldnt make such comments.
    Keep on enjoying your little ones and showing them off! The real people know how good a parent you are.

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  4. Elizabeth Patterson Avatar
    Elizabeth Patterson

    That picture just makes me smile. Thank goodness for slings/backpacks/wraps right? It’s all about those helpful “hands free” devices. You are doing great and it looks like you have some great helpers! Keep relishing motherhood- chaos and all.

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  5. Morgan Avatar
    Morgan

    Totally- Charlie lives in the sling when we are out- what a lifesaver. It’s the same one I used for Henry & Kate…so sentimental : )

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  6. Sara Avatar
    Sara

    Good for you!
    I love the pic….with your knuckles turning white gripping Kate.
    You have a good point though….I do want people to see that I don’t regret what I’ve chosen. Even when I’m not smiling on the outside cause I’m concentrating to hard on the moment. But then I think, I’ll never change people’s preconceived notions in one encounter.

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  7. SoCalGal Avatar
    SoCalGal

    A beautiful sight! You make it look so easy! Charlie is so cute.

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  8. Dana Avatar
    Dana

    I have 4 young children and constantly get the “you have your hands full” comment or “are these all yours?” It makes me laugh every time. Congrats to you for embracing it as well. Your blog is an inspiration.

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  9. Mama Urchin Avatar
    Mama Urchin

    I think three children is a lot of children to a lot of people. So many people have only one or two nowadays. I always wanted to have more than two but it just hasn’t worked out that way. Just think of all the love in your little brood.

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  10. melanie Avatar
    melanie

    Isn’t that the funniest comment? It’s nice when followed by offers to get the door, but other than that it’s simply obvious. And so ambiguous (do they think I’ve got full crazy hands, or full admirable hand?) … so I say look back and tell them something equally as obvious about themselves. “You have long hair!”
    On the having 3 front, I’ve heard 2 or 3 is the number that frazzles you, and after that, you’re good to go for any number of kids because life is already a beehive – little bees buzzing, sometimes stinging, sometimes landing softly and bringing honey. I admire you for going out and about! Number 3 is due to arrive any day (or minute, really) for us, so I’ll look to you for guidance since you’ve done it for SO MUCH longer than I have! 🙂

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  11. heather hales Avatar
    heather hales

    oh my goodness morgan- yes! I just had my 3rd too, and so help me if one more old lady tries to make me feel guilty for being out and about with my 4week old I think I’ll scream! I too am much more aware of the public.
    I’m with you, tired beyond belief, but loving it!

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  12. amy Avatar
    amy

    I just had # 5, so the “you have your hands full” comments and others are old hat for me 🙂 But the other day (just before the baby was born) I was standing in line at the grocery store and the lady behind me commented something like “are they all yours?” (another common comment) and when I said “yes” her response totally stopped me in my tracks- she said “You are SO lucky!” No one EVER has said anything like that to me before! I stopped what I was doing, turned and said, “Thank you! I am! With a big smile. Totally made my day 🙂

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  13. Melissa Avatar
    Melissa

    i have 3 boys under 4 (3 year old twins and a 12 month old)- i get the “hands full” comment all.the.time!! I get really frustrated with that. i always feel like it is said with a “so glad it’s you, not me” sort of look. I also chose this (well, the twins were a suprise!)and can’t imagine a life where we sit at home every day. You are truly an inspiration and I love reading your blog. keep on keeping on 🙂

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  14. jadell Avatar
    jadell

    now that you mention it, I get that all the time, too! and I think I didn’t hear it before #3. Weird. But, now that #4 is on his way, I am anxious to hear all the new comments that others will lovingly share with me. 🙂
    Congrats on the babe, he’s adorable!! and I love that you know you will have more. 🙂

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  15. Lara Avatar
    Lara

    I feel the same way, although, I choose not to go out in public with all three by myself except to go to my parents house. My oldest is not as helpful as Henry. 🙂

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  16. Dede Warren Avatar
    Dede Warren

    I think more often than not, when people make a comment it really says something about them. And I don’t mean that in a good or bad way… if I saw you I’d probably say them same thing. But what I would be thinking is this… I couldn’t handle 3 small children at this point in my life, or that handling 3 little ones is a lot of work, time and energy. With my own children raised, and after helping my daughter with her son until he started school, it would simply bring back the busier, and yes, ton’s of fun days of my own youth! Don’t be offended, you do have your hands full, and that is perfectly wonderful!

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  17. Alexis Avatar
    Alexis

    What a beautiful photo. You are a great mother. I think people realize that three youngsters is at times challenging. Being a Mother of one, it is difficult to imagine 3..especially under school age. I would really hope the passing comment isn’t meant as critisism as much as it is acknowledging your skillful Mothering ways. I do think it is so cool to have siblings closer in age.
    Hats off to you Morgan….and you other Mom’s doing and being it all…because you chose to do that!

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  18. Amanda Avatar
    Amanda

    I also had three under 4, and I get that comment ALL THE TIME. One time a lady said, “Bless your heart.” (I live in the South). I said, “I AM blessed!” Praise God for people like you and your husband who are open to the beautiful gift of children. The world is a better place because of you five!!!

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  19. Tammy Avatar
    Tammy

    We have 8 children… so, girl are speaking my language. I get the more in your face comments like, “don’t you know what causes that”… My response is usually, “Yes, and we enjoy it!”
    You can’t let others responses dictate your life choices. Amen and amen…

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  20. julie Avatar
    julie

    The fullness of your hands is wonderful! What a beautiful family! We have 3 children too and I have often heard the same comments about having my hands full.

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  21. Becky Avatar
    Becky

    I had my third at about the same time you did. Last week, we were walking to Borders (and I also get comments about taking her out at this age-in Chicago winters, nonetheless!) and a grandfatherly-type actually pulled over to the curb and yelled “You look busy!” out the window of his car. I am hoping that he also raised a large family, and seeing me with the double stroller and the baby strapped on the front brought back memories. (As opposed to, “Let me yell at this crazy lady so she knows I think she’s doing a rotten job!”) It was sort of bizarre, but hopefully well-intentioned.
    And speaking from very real, right-now experience…it’s not always easy! Hang in there and take care! Love your blog!

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  22. Alexis Tanner Avatar
    Alexis Tanner

    Morgan!
    Your children are beautiful! I think about my own family and how we only have three kids and it really isn’t that much. I would love to have a lot more kids than that! Anyway, that was a fun blog to read. Hope you’re doing well!

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  23. Erin Avatar
    Erin

    I have three children also and whenever I am out with all of them I always get the “your hands are full comment” and I always reply by saying with a smile “And I wouldn’t have it any other way!”

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  24. Jen Avatar
    Jen

    I have three under 4 years old and I always get “My, you have your hands full!” Even if I’m not having a particularly stellar time, I smile anyway. Nothing gets a look like a mother smiling away blissfully whilst her toddler has a meltdown 🙂

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  25. jean Avatar
    jean

    All I have to say is Amen to that!!

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  26. Ashley Hoopes Avatar
    Ashley Hoopes

    You darling mother. What lucky kids to have you. Seriously..you rock. I must say that having three has has been a butt-kicker for me. And while most of the time I love it…there are some times that I hate it. And I think that’s normal. Unfortunately the times that I hate it, do usually seem to coincide with the exact moment that I am out in public and trying to juggle eight things at once. Simplicity has made me much happier. But sometimes happiness has to be put on hold for a second while you tend to the immediacy of daily life.
    And while some of our little chicks came to us by choice, some came by accident. And who knew how fun accidents could turn out to be?…they’ve been awesome for us (when they haven’t caused me to tear my hair out of my head). Regardless of what the moment holds, I echo your sentiment that life is grand with three little ones in tow. 🙂

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  27. Abbey Rice Avatar
    Abbey Rice

    With 4 under age 5, I also get the “hands full” comment all the time (well, when I actually venture out with all of them, which is virtually never unless the husband is with me). I take it more as an aknowledgement of the big job that I am doing than a criticism. I live in a heavily Catholic area with a lot of old people and I find that most of the people who make verbal note of our situation say it with support and love. I think it’s sweet, but maybe not everyone gets the same comments with the same feeling. Rock on sister.

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  28. Ann Avatar
    Ann

    Love you Morgan Moore! Wish we could get our full hands together sometime and catch up! I’d love to meet your little brood. Hugs to all of you!

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  29. Stacie Smith Avatar
    Stacie Smith

    Went to Taos, NM last year while pregnant. Went into a gallery and was talking to the woman there. When she found out this was my 3rd and that I already have a boy and a girl she asked why I would have another. As if having a 3rd was only warranted if you had 2 of one gender! Ha! As if!
    Oh and then I saw a fam at Costco with I don’t know how many kids. I didn’t want to stare, so couldn’t count. It must have been around 8… and all girls, I think. Remember I wasn’t staring.

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  30. Kimberly Avatar
    Kimberly

    I get that ALL the time. When my kids are behaving beautifully and when they are being complete lunatics.
    I’m planning dinners for the week and stopped by to get your lettuce wrap recipe. I haven’t made them since we lived in Boston. It’s bringing back lots of great memories! =)

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  31. Kimberly P Avatar
    Kimberly P

    Oh, wow, and see now I feel really bad, because I’m always telling people, “So, wow, you’ve got your hands full!” I think, though, that I look at it in terms of how much they are accomplishing. Hopefully they take it that way! But I think it’s great that you’re enjoying it and that you want more. I’d have six if my body would cooperate!

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  32. Julianne Baer Avatar
    Julianne Baer

    You are amazing! I completly understand what you are feeling! I love my six children and show them off to everyone everywhere! What a blessing to have our hands full!

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  33. Mandy Avatar
    Mandy

    Morgan- You are the first person to get me excited to have baby #3. I would much rather deal with 3 kids than be pregnant forever! We found out I am having a boy – same pattern as you (boy, girl, boy).

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  34. Wendy Avatar
    Wendy

    We used to get those comments from people we know not strangers. Then when our kids were 7, 5, and 2.5, we had triplets now we get the “are they all yours ” question, my response would usually be, nope this babies mine, I stole the other two! Almost four years later, the comments still happen especially when I’m out with all 6, but I’ve decided most people are just trying to be friendly, and a little curious about why someone has all these kids. I wouldn’t be without any of mine, if I was a few years younger I’d probably have some more!!

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  35. Amber Lee D. Avatar
    Amber Lee D.

    your post totally reminded me of my life about 7 years ago. I got lots of comments when I showed up anywhere with my three under 4 years at that time. Little old ladies would always give me advice. Like you I just smiled, and listened intently while they sagely expelled their wisdom. All the while I was thinking to myself, I can’t wait till I am old enough to get away with that. I still feel like that, but I am not old enough to get away with it, YET. Anyway, enjoy this time when you can keep them close and contained, I miss it!

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  36. Morgan Avatar
    Morgan

    Mandles- so exciting and so fun catching up yesterday- xox

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  37. Morgan Avatar
    Morgan

    Oh don’t feel bad Kimberly! I think people really do have the best intentions. When I was at Restoration Hardware over the weekend buying paint the cashier told me the same thing and I laughed.

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  38. Morgan Avatar
    Morgan

    wah- I miss our time in Boston together. boo.

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  39. Morgan Avatar
    Morgan

    You could totally do it Lara!!

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  40. Morgan Avatar
    Morgan

    Ha ha you’re funny Melanie!! Can’t wait to hear about the arrival of your new one! Keep me posted!!
    xoxo

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  41. Morgan Avatar
    Morgan

    That is so funny about the white knuckles! Hey I never said it was EASY! LOL!

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  42. Byrney Avatar
    Byrney

    Hi,
    I have found my way here via the celebrate the boys month and your cosy cone motels…fab!! Will be making those! I also have 3 under 4 and get the hands full statement all the time, I think(hope) they are just making conversation. Perhaps instead of the wow he is big comment lol! And I also get people confused as to why I had a 3rd since I had one of each…they are the rude ones. 3 is great and I can’t wait to browse your blog for other lovely projects for when I get time.

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  43. becky Avatar
    becky

    I love what you say! I have just brought home baby #5 this week (he is 6 days old today). I love having these children, but people do seem compelled to comment. It is hard not to be self-conscious.

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  44. Morgan Avatar
    Morgan

    6 days- wow! Congratulations, Becky!!

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  45. michal Avatar
    michal

    i remember you and i discussing this when i was there last month (and i have GOT to get a thank you goodie in the mail to you:). get used to the comments– they started when i had my third, but “you’ve got your hands full” is pretty much the nicest thing people say when they see me with my five kids under 10. it was so refreshing today– i was at gymnastics with only three of my kids and another mom found out that i had five and i braced myself for one of THOSE comments that i get all the time, but instead she said, “You are so blessed!” it took me back for a second because that is how i feel but i’m so used to defending myself in those situations or at least trying to convince them that i’m not crazy or oppressed!:)
    life with lots of kids is challenging, it’s true. but it’s also wonderful. and although a home with two kids might be quieter, and going places with them in public might be saner, and surely folding their laundry would be much, much faster, i wouldn’t trade my life for the world.

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  46. Stacy Avatar
    Stacy

    I just wanted to tell you I LOVE this post! I really needed to hear these words. So many times I go out in public and am having the hardest time, and I’m frowning the whole time, and my 2 year old is wacking everything off the shelves down the aisles and am thinking to myself, “Why am I going out with two kids?” This post has totally changed my perspective! I do LOVE my kids. I do LOVE being a Mother. It is the hardest job in the world, yes, even with two kids, but it is THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD, and I LOVE IT! So next time I’m out and about having my hands full I will be sure to smile for the stranger and think of this post! Thank you Morgan!!!

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  47. christina Avatar
    christina

    Okay so I realize that this post was like a month ago but I still had to post be because I was JUST commenting about this on my FB page the day!!! I too have three littles and I take them everywhere with me. I grocery shop with them, I thrift store shop with them, we even hang out at the coffee shop! Everywhere I go it seems someone comments about me having my hands full.
    Another mother of only one responded back with this :”I think it is because they aren’t as composed as you or are unable to handle things and remain positive about situations. You see how I stress and I only have one. I don’t look at you and think how does she handle 3??? I look at you and think WOW…she’s a great Mom and was meant to be a Mom. You are good at it and motherhood suits you well! … your kids pick up on your easy going nature and it reflects in their behavior. I on the other hand and a stress case and Morgan probably feeds off of it! I need to come stay with you for a few days! LOL I would consider it a compliment…just smile and say, Thanks…I love every minute of it!
    While I agree with this in most cases the last comment was by an older man, and I am not sure of the meaning of his comment. But I do think just smiling and saying yup but it’s fun is a good one! or you could always just say thanks! the other three are home with their Dad!! hahaha lol!!!

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  48. Julie L Avatar
    Julie L

    I just found your blog today and am excitied to look at your previous entries and keep coming back for future ones. I can also relate to your comments about having 3 little ones. I have a 4 1/2 year old daughter and two boys, one just turned 3 two weeks ago and the other is 6 months. Some days/moments are overwhelming, but it is definitely worth it and we’re not done either!

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  49. Lisa Lohrke Avatar
    Lisa Lohrke

    Hi Morgan, Too funny! The first time I’ve visited your blog in a long while and what’s the first thing I see…cupcakes papers…lol. I hope you remember our conversation about you getting me addicted to buying them. I bought the cutest ones for St. Patrick’s Day. We made green cupcakes with green frosting and bought covers on toothpicks to stick in the middle. So cute. We had them yesterday because Alan and Alexis came up for St Patrick’s dinner since it’s too hard during the week. Your blog is adorable as always. I want to try the french bread. Hope all is well. Love, Aunt Lisa

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