IMG_1488 You guys give some good stroller advice (and who knew there were so many Phil & Ted supporters.) We bought one yesterday. As a person who does not enjoy researching the best children's products out there, my search consisted of  seeing what craigslist had to offer. This one caught my eye, it's one of these. The best part is that it was 1/4 the retail cost. I really wanted a side by side- I like that no ones view is blocked and there's plenty of room to stretch. We also bought a wheeled boardfrom craigslist for the bug, so we'll probably use that one around town and save the double for Disneyland, zoo's, etc.,. We tested it out this morning and so far so good. It's about time to kick off the 'Post-baby-weight-walk-off' so we got that going on. I'd pretty much rather eat dirt.

We walked to the bank this morning. "So is he in pre-school?" someone asked. I get asked this a lot. Every time we are at a park, other Mom's want to know where he's going or where he's 'wait-listed.' "I'm not putting him in pre-school" I say. It's at that point I get the blank stare. It's like it's just too much information for their little brains to process. I say nothing about how absurd it is to pay $20,000 a year for pre-school for a 3-year old.  Or how he has all the social skills that he needs (don't even get me started.) I say nothing about all the years I dreamed of being a Mother,  that these times, these years, were the one's I looked forward to the most. No school, little fingers helping to make choco-chip cookies, days in the park and at the library, getting dirty, going to museums. Days of doing nothing, just being together. I wouldn't change these years for anything, and we only have a few of them left. So, yes, I'm holding on to them very, very tightly. 

EDITED: I want the following duly noted:

Every child that I have ever known that has been/currently goes to pre-school, LOVES it. I'm not saying that if you send your children to pre-school that you aren't enjoying the finer things (library, park, etc.,.) I know everyones situations are different. Some parents work. Some want to give their children a creative outlet that they themselves can't provide. Some just need a break during the week. I personally know people who have all said those things, and that's fine. It doesn't matter why you do/don't do preschool. We are Mothers- we have Mothers intuition, right? We know what our children need. Why do I have to be the weird one, just because I'm not doing it? I'm just saying. Why can't someone else be the weird one. For once?

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51 responses to “We walk…”

  1. MonsterBug Blankets Avatar

    Amen on the no preschooling! 🙂 It is rather absurd, isn’t it!

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  2. jessica Avatar

    I completely agree!!!

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  3. Sarah Faries Avatar

    I can’t say how much I nod and agreed during the post. I also often get the blank stare like ‘gasp – he’s not in PRESCHOOL?’ (AKA DAYCARE) I know 2 Montessouri teachers and both of them assure me that all my toddler needs is resources at home (natural toys, wood, materials), outdoor fun, and to enjoy library time if possible. We go to the local laptime reading at the library, we have a playmate or two that we hang out with regularly, and we have FUN and learn by playing.
    Bravo to you for being able to embrace these years; I’m one of the fortunate few as well who’s able to stay home… I wouldn’t trade it for ANYTHING!

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  4. Linn Avatar

    I’m enjoying these early years, too, although I did put my #1 in preschool at our church for 4 hours a week at 3…I think it has to do with personality and social skills, as you say, because my guy was painfully shy and has improved oh-so-much after that first year. Somehow I don’t mind so much with it only being 4 hours and seeing so much improvement. Now my #2 guy, he needs no help in the social skills arena! He makes friends with everyone he meets, as if he’s the grand marshall of his own parade every day. To each kid his own, I’m learning.

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  5. Judi Avatar

    I’m completely on board with you on this one! This is such a special time that our little one’s need with us…….. as well as us with them. I’ve known parents who felt pressured to enroll their kids in daycare for the “social” skills that others believe they aren’t receiving.
    It’s a bunch of phooey if’n you ask me!

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  6. Libby Avatar

    Very well said!!

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  7. Kimberly Avatar

    $20,000 for PRESCHOOL??? Are you kidding? I cannot imagine paying even half that amount. That’s insane.
    That said, I do have Ethan in preschool, and he LOVES it. But I started him at age 2 and it was too hard on both of us, so I’m not going to do that with Colin. Ethan only goes 3 days a week in the afternoons and begs to go the other days, but I’m already sad thinking about him going to school all day 5 days a week next year. I feel like I’ll never get to see him!
    Love the stroller. I’ll have to take it for a spin to see if I need to make a change. A year later I’m still not loving mine.

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  8. Holly Avatar

    I have no problem with other parents who want to put their kids in preschool, but I also dislike the reaction I get when I tell people I’m not putting my 4-year-old daughter in preschool this year. My older daughter didn’t go to preschool and she handled kindergarten very well. In fact, her teacher remarked that none of the three top readers in the class (my daughter included) had gone to preschool. I don’t think that’s necessarily why they read well, but they weren’t hurt by missing preschool.

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  9. amy Hunter Avatar

    I totally agree on the preschool thing, I didn’t go to preschool and I turned out fine. We put Helen in preschool, but that was only because it was offered through the school and it was free. And there weren’t any other kids her age to play with in the neighborhood. It was only 3 times a week for 2 hours. Arthur just started kindergarten, we didn’t put him in preschool. Mainly because I wanted to keep him home and couldn’t bear to pay that much money. I think he will do fine in school. My sister in law wants to put her just barely 4 year old in kindergarten a year early. Because he knows how to read. I told her no way would I do it, even if he knows the stuff it doesn’t mean that he is emotionally ready. Way to go on wanting to keep your kids home, where they should be.

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  10. Diane Avatar
    Diane

    Good for you!!!! I remember those years as a little girl and spending lots of time doing things with my mom and they are full of special memories. I think kids spend plenty of time in school. What’s the hurry?

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  11. Sandra in San Diego Avatar

    My two older boys attended pre-school and having experienced the pros and cons my younger 2 (3 and 1) will not be in preschool. And yes 20,000 is outrages. Having a college student on the east coast makes me want to hold to them and cherish them at home even more.

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  12. Patti Avatar

    I got the same reaction 20 years ago. I’m glad I stayed strong about it. My kids didn’t go to preschool . . . and amazingly they made the transition to kindergarten just fine.
    Love your blog.

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  13. Rose Avatar

    I am actually a preschool teacher. However, I applaud you. I think that it is silly how we expect all children to go to preschool, to the point that there are list’s created before children are born.
    $20,000 is absurd. I only have the children for 2 1/2 hours twice a week. We play, sing songs, create etc. I know that many people like giving the children a bit of a change of scenery, just to transition to kindergarten. However, I do not think that preschool is a prerequisite for school.
    Enjoy your time with your sweet little ones. They do grow up fast!
    I am the teacher of my own 3 year old! It is the best.

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  14. julie Avatar
    julie

    I couldn’t agree with you more… and I have seen that “blank stare” you are referring to!

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  15. michal Avatar

    why do people feel the need to get into other people’s business? for some kids or families, preschool is a good choice. others will do great without it, especially with a home like yours where henry is learning everything he needs to be.
    it drives me crazy that people think you need school for socialization, when there are so many other avenues. the idea has been perpetuated that kids are better off in day care than at home so that no one feels guilty. i had a therapist tell me when kimball as 18 months old that i was doing him a disservice by keeping him home when he should be in some sort of program for socialization (this was before he had any symptoms of being on the autistic spectrum). she said that kids in day care are more likely to thrive in school. baloney.

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  16. Lindy Avatar
    Lindy

    Sheesh. Who knew people were so opinionated about preschools? Of course, preschool is not necessary for socialization, nor is it required to do well in school. But, I also dislike the attitude that those of us who put our kids in prescool for a few hours a week are doing it for daycare! The preschool I send my son to is not daycare–it’s more like a couple of hours of learning songs, playing with friends, and reading stories. He loves the change of scenery and the stimulation. I hardly find that absurd!

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  17. lindy Avatar
    lindy

    Morgan,
    I didn’t mean for that last comment to be harsh. I totally support your decision to not put Henry in preschool. You definitely know what’s best for your child. I just think it’s hypocritical for people to get angry that people are judging you for your decision, then turn around and make judgements against those who do choose to put their children in preschool. That’s all.
    You’re awesome!

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  18. Heather Avatar

    I’m glad you found a stroller you liked! I get the same look all the time. People always say “I don’t know how you do it. I’d have to have them in pre-school.” I just reply that our life is crazy sometimes, be we have a great time in the process and I wouldn’t want to miss out on it.

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  19. Amanda Avatar

    Right there with you. I get asked the same question all the time about Sam (he’ll be 4 at Christmas). When I say “No, we’re not doing preschool,” I get some interesting looks. It is beyond most people’s thinking that I wouldn’t at least do Mother’s Day Out or Preschool of some sort. I too want him to just enjoy being at home with me and being a KID. He’s going to be in school for a LONG time, no need to start so early!

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  20. Judy in Carefree Avatar
    Judy in Carefree

    Preschool is nothing but a GOOD thing as children have to get used to being away from their parents. I truly believe that a child needs one, two or three years of preschool if they are to adjust easily to all-day kindergarten. My children made life-long friendships while in preschool and their children are making those same kind of friendships. Believe me I was and still am a real hands-on mother as are my daughters. You can have it both ways!

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  21. Katie Avatar
    Katie

    Amen to that Morgan…there are enough years of school, enjoy the years at home while we can!

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  22. Kim Avatar

    Look at the controversy you’ve started! 😉
    Preschool, or no preschool– doesn’t matter to me. What I’m impressed with is your conviction to make the decision because it’s what is best for your family. You’re RIGHT because you’re a good mom and you know your child.
    I do disagree, however, with some comments about preschool being “day care”. That’s simply not true. Some certainly ARE, and parents who don’t have their heads on straight do sometime use them for that. (Shame, shame! 😉 But there really are some good programs available if you need one. We’re part of a wonderful program through the University here– a child development lab. Parents attend WITH their child, it’s very cool. Just my 2 cents.

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  23. Elisabeth Avatar

    My entire BYU 4-year education cost $20,000. Paying that much for preschool is insane! So how about this- in my town you have to pay for all day K- $2400 for the year (yes, this is supposedly a public school) Technically it is optional, but my son is the only one in the entire school not staying all day and he doesn’t even get to have recess because of it. I’m really ticked off about the whole thing and may end up just paying for it and switching to full day, even though I don’t want to and think all day K is completely uneccesary (my three older kids went to 1/2 day), but I feel like he is missing out on fundamental parts of school (like recess!)
    Anyway, it’s all a little nuts if you ask me. And one more thing- my husband didn’t go to any preschool whatsoever and he is one of the smartest people I know. He was reading long before he even went to K- like when he was 4.

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  24. Rachael Avatar

    Good on you for being a MUM!!! Good choice on the Phil and Ted by the way! Rachaelxo

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  25. Cherry Tree Lane Avatar

    What a great post. I loved it. Thank you for your candid nature and honesty. ALL that matters is your time with your son. These times with your son are special and you will never regret not putting him into “preschool” at 3.
    Good for you!

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  26. Jessie Avatar

    Thank you!!! You have just made my day. I can’t tell you how many times people have given me the “look” because my son isn’t in preschool (he’s not even two yet!) I have just been fortunate enough to become a stay at home mom, after nearly two years of either running my own daycare or nannying full-time–and having my son with me, but still not being able to be a full-time mom to him. I am LOVING spending all my time with him, and do not plan to put him into preschool. I didn’t go, and I turned out fine (I think.) :O)

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  27. Lisa Avatar
    Lisa

    I’ve been there. Same blank stares. I just don’t get it. I decided to stay home with my son (now three) and haven’t doubted the decision ever. Its right for us! Cheers

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  28. Charli Avatar

    I just blogged a couple of weeks ago about my decision to homeschool my daughter for preschool. My reasons are pretty similar to yours. My daughter will more than likely be going to public school for K-12, so why not enjoy this last year?! We have frequent play dates (already, and it is the very beginning of the school year) with other kids, we go to church for 3 hours every Sunday (2 of which is with kids her same age), she goes to the childcare at the gym a couple times a week, etc. so my outgoing little girl is not lacking for social interaction!

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  29. Kick Avatar
    Kick

    You aren’t the weird one – you have the courage to do what you know is right for your family! My cousin had two girls in the early 80’s and stayed home with them. All the young mothers that she knew were horrified at her decision! Strangely enough, those young girls have grown into beautiful, strong young women.

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  30. meg Avatar

    $20,000 for PRESCHOOL?! Seriously? I had no idea that was even a possibility. Good night.
    Aside from that, Morgan, the debate never ends nor do the blank stares, no matter what choice you make. It starts with the whole, “When are you going to have kids?”, then on to the next one (when you’re six weeks post-partum), then when are you going to stop…and a few years in, the school stuff. My son is 3, too, and I’ve already had discussions three different times about why we probably won’t be homeschooling him. It’s an interesting sign of the times and our community when this is what gets the strange looks (because those used to be reserved for the homeschoolers, so at least they’re finally getting their day!), but there you go. There’s no escaping it! 😉

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  31. Emily Ess Avatar
    Emily Ess

    I have a friend who loves that stage with her son so she’s not even sending him to kindergarten. She does Kinder with him at home and plans on him starting school with grade 1. I see no problems with that at all and he’s a well-adjusted and very social kid so don’t worry about what others say! I say do what you feel is best for Henry!

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  32. heidi Avatar
    heidi

    Believe me – it goes by fast and I don’t blame you for wanting to soak up every minute. The twins just left for kindergarten and my heart still breaks for them every day! I’m not sending my 3-year old to preschool either. I just want to eat up this time together b/c I know what’s just around the corner…an empty nest! Good for you for voicing your opinion on the matter. We all try to do what’s best for our kids no matter what.

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  33. Traci Avatar

    I have boys who’s birthdays are in Nov. and miss the cut off for kindergarten. So, they are 5 years old and not in kindergarten. I haven’t put any of my 4 in preschool and as I go around town people are actually confused as to why a 4 or 5 year old is with me. I love having them home because once they are in school, I will never have them home again. Plus, the money, the time to take them (usually while the littlest one needs a nap) and pick up, etc. seems just too much to me.

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  34. em Avatar

    i’d rather be eating your chocolate chip cookies than going ANYWHERE!!
    ps i am really missing ivy this week 😦

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  35. Mama Urchin Avatar

    We used a buggy board for Katie when Tristan was a baby and loved it. I bet Henry will too.

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  36. Kelly Call Avatar
    Kelly Call

    You go Morgan! These are special years and it is so great to see a mom who’s cherishing them! I love your spirit and courage to do what you know is best for your family! Love to you All Always!

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  37. shelleymay Avatar

    i applaud your conviction. i put my daughter in preschool – just this week actually. i thought it was “what you are supposed to do”… i’m learning. first time mom at all. well – in reading my blog post for today – you’ll soon see why i’m wondering if she’s going to get anything out of it. stnad strong, momma. lil henry will get all he needs right from you.

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  38. Debbie Bailey Avatar

    To Judy in Carefree: I don’t think pre-school is a GOOD thing at all. Children that small need to be at home with their parents. I am extremely close to all our children because we were together so much (we homeschooled). They are now grown and my best friends. My friends envy those relationships. They don’t have them with their children, and in my opinion, it’s because they went to school for eight hours a day and were negatively influenced by their peers. A good relationship calls for a large investment of time. It starts at birth and continues forever….

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  39. monique Avatar

    oh you go girl! In my ward almost all of the little ones are in preschool which is just baffling to me. I’m glad you are proud of your stance on the matter and have no regrets!

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  40. Pamela Rust Avatar
    Pamela Rust

    Omigoodness…I am so happy to come across your lovely blog. I feel as if I could have written every word in this post…so nice to hear of other Mom’s that make this same decision.
    Thanks so much… 🙂

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  41. Leslie Avatar

    i have that stroller for my kids…though they are outgrowing it now, and i loved it. It was so versatile. I think my oldest used it until she was 5, along with my little one. I love what you said about preschool. I easily forget that i too dreamed about these days with my kids and i all too often get caught up in the busyness of life and forget to enjoy them and the time we have together. They are only little for a while. Thanks for sharing.

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  42. Tonya Avatar

    Oh so very true. Each their own. Every child is different and only you know what is right for yours.

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  43. Sara Avatar
    Sara

    Like my dad said, weird is good! We were homeschooled, and got all the same comments and more that you get about preschool. I turned out okay. So, more power to you!

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  44. Sarie Avatar

    I came here from cjane’s blog. I am looking forward to participating in your benefit sale tomorrow and Wednesday!
    I started reading your posts.. I haven’t sent my daughters to preschool either. We are definitely the exception now-a-days and I think that’s so sad. My girls will thank me later when they’ve gone to school for 13 years straight that I didn’t start them any earlier than I had to. I just love being able to kiss on them all day.
    Lots of love.
    Sarah

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  45. Fawn Rueckert Avatar
    Fawn Rueckert

    I think the real matter here is the choice we have and how we as women or mothers have a hard time tolerating different views. I also made the decision to keep my 4 yr old “out” of preschool. I am not anti school, I don’t bring it up, but you would not believe the comments and blank stares I get when other mothers ask me my business. Kids will have 13 years of structured school ahead, 13 years! Why can’t we keep our kids, kids for a little while, if we feel it appropriate.

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  46. kristi tolman Avatar

    OK, I think you could possibly be my new best friend.
    I’m not sure where we got the idea that kids NEED preschool. The research all shows that any advantage gained in preschool — and the jury’s still out on if preschool creates any advantage — is completely gone by 3rd grade.
    And I love the “socialization” argument. Do people really believe that three- and four-year olds are actually socialized by other three- and four-year olds? Three-year olds are still in the parallel play stage as are many four-year olds. Not to mention that in the absence of enough adult supervision four-year old interaction is nothing short of scary.
    This doesn’t make preschool a bad thing, just not a necessary thing like so many people want to believe.
    My girls didn’t attend preschool at three and now go “only” two days per week at four. I have to explain why they’re not there every day to nearly everyone who wants to give me their opinion.
    Good for you for standing your ground!

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  47. Angela Henrie Avatar

    Don’t even worry about it! I have 8 children and none of them have done preschool! My 3 year old is doing “playschool” this year with her cousin. That’s about as serious as I get. I really feel it’s the last moment you get with your little one before they start kindergarden. I LOVE that time together. My oldest daughter, who didn’t take preschool, just graduated #1 in her class at a BIG high school. Wow, how did that happen without preschool?!

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  48. LoW Avatar

    I never sent my kids to preschool. Never. I say ‘we home preschooled’. 🙂 We don’t home school, but I reckon we did when it came to preschool.
    I figured that I have to give my kids up at 5 years of age, after ONLY 5 years, that’s all I get! Then they are off to school and then college and then that’s it. So why rush it? What’s the hurry? Five years is SO short!
    And I’ve asked many a kindergarten teachers and learned that there is no difference in preschoolers and not when it comes to how they are doing in class.
    So that is that! 🙂
    You might understand (with me, cause to few do) this http://galow.vox.com/library/post/low—friday-august-01-2008-84444-pm.html which has a snippet of a story by Carl Ewald written in 1899 when his child was going off to school.
    When you have time. 🙂
    Thanks for all you do!!!

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  49. elizabeth Avatar

    what all these other moms said! i LOVE having my two home with me! and we are going to try homeschool for kindergarten and just see how it goes . . .
    p.s. this is the first time i’ve visited you – i found you off soulemama’s page – and i say – way to go planning the online, blogging benefit! i’ll definitely check in tomorrow!

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