It's 7:10 as I start this post. Our little Margot Ryan was born a month ago at 7:13 p.m. It's been emotionally harder having a second, at least for me. I find that I'm having a hard time connecting to her. With Henry, I just held him all the time. You can do that when it's your first. You put your entire life on hold and just snuggle and cuddle and soak them up. Life has been busy as usual since the baby arrived and I've been mournful that I haven't been able to do all the snuggling with her like I did with Henry. Sometimes, at the end of the day I look at her and think 'I've hardly held you at all today' and that makes me really sad. It's the constant juggling of nursing, burping, napping, tending to Henry, laundry, dishes, housework. I'm struggling to find the time to just snuggle and cuddle and soak her up. I'm sure that's why I'm not feeling a conection or much of a bond. I think it's why I've struggled with the name, too. I just wasn't feeling anything. But then on Thursday, I was busy doing something and she was sitting in her chair and I turned and looked over at her and my heart almost burst. Iloveyousomuch!! And you are mine, all mine! And there in that instant, I felt bonded to her forever. We connected. We bonded. It hit me light me like a ton of bricks. And I was so glad. And things are so much better. Finally.
There are so many things I'd forgotten about having a newborn, like:
- The fact that my boobs are twice the size of her little head and she is in constant danger of being crushed like a bug everytime I nurse her.
- Getting frantic phone calls from Chris that I should have "topped her off" before I left.
- Projectile spit-up
- People not looking me in the eye, but rather at the two giant wet circles on the front of my shirt.
- The awesome mesh undies they give you at the hospital. The inventor of those most definitely should be given a Nobel Prize.
- Co-sleeping. I just love having her at arms reach at night. I haven't had to get out of bed once since she was born. She starts to eek out a few little mumbles, I pull her in bed, nurse her for 10 minutes and put her back.
- This girl is what I like to call a 'snacker'. She won't nurse for more than 7-8 minutes at once, and only on one side. I was nervous at first but at her 2 week apt. she was over 10 lbs, so no more worries here!
- Last night, she slept for 8 hours straight. It's the best sleep I've had in months. I'm so grateful for that- and hoping we see lot's more of those nights.
And when you run out of gDiaper inserts, you always have your brothers size 5 diapers to help out: 
I love you, sweet girl. I'm so glad you came to be part of our family.
xoxo
p.s. Shop update will be Monday. I opted for a girls night out making jewelry on Thurs. (so much fun) and Friday was a field-trip day (equally as much fun) so see you Monday!
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